You remember this one quote where some missionary or elder said that jw's teach people how to live? Well I really am learning how to live ------ from all of you...........thanx a million!!!!!
Cult Classic
cult classic
JoinedPosts by cult classic
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21
Handling the negative emotions after leaving - suggestions please
by cult classic insince leaving a few years ago, i have experienced the gamut of emotions, both good and bad.
one that seems particularly difficult to manage is the shame and embarrassment i feel for having taking it seriously all my life.
why wasn't i thinking?
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JW Parents Can permanently injure you. REPLY to GB
by hamsterbait ini find it offensive that gubberningbody can claim that we cannot be permanently injured by the borg, or what our parents do to us to train us in their ways.. is he claiming that we are to blame if we cannot heal?.
go to india.. families of professional beggars deliberately break the limbs of their children so they are deformed.. dont tell me that the victm here cannot blame the parents.... psychological damage can be every bit as far reaching - and inflicted by parents, for cult reasons.. we have heard testimony from so many here, whose minds have been whisked shaken squeazed and violated by the witchtower religion.. i am still getting over mine.
it is not helped by th"revisionist memory" that dubs share.. "they never said anything about 1975" (my mother said that) "were not those who left school without a high school diploma being presumptuous that jehovah would provide for them?
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WTWizard - you summed up the experience of jw kids perfectly. And I agree with you totally about the permanent harm that results.
hamsterbait - you are dead on about the revisionist memory thing. I have been so angry at my parents for this very reason. It's bad enough that we are subject to denial by the religion. But now my parents have begun this crap whereby they are denying how seriously they took the religion. They raised us all totally on the whole kit and kaboodle of jw-ism.
They would tell us that during the Great Tribulation we would be tested on our own. "Stay faithful to Jehovah, his angels will help you endure." I was terrified growing up that I would be separated from my parents and siblings, tortured and possibly raped. If we made the mistakes that come with being young, we were threatened with removal of our "privileges of service". "You won't be allowed to comment (or get baptized or carry the mics, or pioneer) if I tell the elders about your bad attitude." My parent's proudest moments were when we sacrificed for Jehovah. And after all those years of sacrificing and being an oddball in school, don't get too comfortable, "probably you will be saved".
Fast forward to 2010. My mother now says she never really believed the end was coming. That "lord only knows she did everything she could" to get us to go to college after high school. And my father now says that he wasn't sure it was coming, but just in case, he wanted us to "get life". What BS!!!!!! When I try to talk about how retarded it all was, he doesn't acknowledge his part in it. He always says how "we" (meaning witnesses) have this backwards thinking and "we" scare our kids and believe this stuff. Totally dodges responsibility and has yet to apologize for the role he and my mother played.
My mother has yet to speak to me regarding leaving the borg. Now mind you this was a woman who was inactive/irregular most of our life. Yet insisted that I stay home, pioneer, then marry in the lord in order to be a good person. So now that I'm out what does she have for me? Nothing. Not one word of "encouragement". I find that disgraceful.
When my husband told his father he doesn't attend meetings anymore guess what his elder father of over 45 years said? "Well son we all have free will." Can you believe that s---?
Not only have we been permanently injured by JW parents we are continually insulted by them.
Cult Classic
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Handling the negative emotions after leaving - suggestions please
by cult classic insince leaving a few years ago, i have experienced the gamut of emotions, both good and bad.
one that seems particularly difficult to manage is the shame and embarrassment i feel for having taking it seriously all my life.
why wasn't i thinking?
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cult classic
I definitely need to find avenues to express myself. I've suppressed my thoughts and feelings so long. To allow myself to really examine what it has meant to be a witness all my life is a bit much to digest at times. I'm realizing that my training with the jw's is reaching into my life after being active with the group. I mean I find myself ignoring or denying that it was harmful........know what I mean?
I am working on finding outlets for expressing my feelings (starting with this board). You know when we first left, it was so liberating and freeing. I thought that was it. I'm confused as to why I seem to just now be crashing from it all. Maybe it's because as life events unfold I'm reminded of what was lost. And we have family still in so that's a constant reminder too. I'm not sure. Did any of you have a delayed reaction of sorts?
Again I want to say I'm taking all of your words to heart and I really appreciate your taking the time to respond.
Cult Classic
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Handling the negative emotions after leaving - suggestions please
by cult classic insince leaving a few years ago, i have experienced the gamut of emotions, both good and bad.
one that seems particularly difficult to manage is the shame and embarrassment i feel for having taking it seriously all my life.
why wasn't i thinking?
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cult classic
Thank you guys for responding........you're the best. I am soaking this all in and will use every bit of it. It all makes sense.
I've recently begun seeing a therapist, I'm not sure if she totally gets what I'm saying so it's really good hearing from those who are in front of me on this long winding road........
Cult Classic
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Theocratic Terms/Slang - Old and New
by pirata inat the 2010 "safeguard your spirituality", the co (or do?
) mentioned that there are some theocratic terms that we need to be reminded about.
he gave the example of many years ago when we said we were doing "back calls", but now we say we are doing "return visits".. here's some he mentioned (bad => good):.
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I don't recall any explanations for the changed terminology....usually it's some stupid crap about what the old term really means so we're not gonna use it anymore. And nobody asks questions in this religion.
i'm not stressed out about any new terms either, although my family uses them so i know what they are.......but who gives a flying fig?
they like to act like if you're using the old terminology you're not keeping up with things in the borg........idiots
Cult Classic
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Handling the negative emotions after leaving - suggestions please
by cult classic insince leaving a few years ago, i have experienced the gamut of emotions, both good and bad.
one that seems particularly difficult to manage is the shame and embarrassment i feel for having taking it seriously all my life.
why wasn't i thinking?
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cult classic
Hi everybody,
Since leaving a few years ago, I have experienced the gamut of emotions, both good and bad. One that seems particularly difficult to manage is the shame and embarrassment I feel for having taking it seriously all my life. Why wasn't I thinking? How come I didn't wake up sooner? How do you handle the burden of regret as well?
Mind you this is not something I struggle with everyday but it is there under the surface. And when it boils to the top I find it hard to shake the feelings.
Can anyone relate? If so, how do you handle the downside of having come to your senses?
Cult Classic
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Demons!
by wildflowermeadow injws are obsessed with demons.
do you have any evidence spirits exist?
what about magic?
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cult classic
MadSweeney says:
So who's the greatest disappointment as far as REAL supernatural activity? God or the demunz? Both are pretty consistent no-shows.
Now that was funny ........rofl
Cult Classic
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Mortgage crisis and increased consumer spending
by PrimateDave ini just read this piece at financial armageddon: .
more about that 'healthy' consumer spendingi've highlighted posts at the market ticker, business insider's the money game, and housingwire which have suggested that one reason why americans can afford to keep on spending in the face of 20 percent underemployment and stagnant incomes is because many of them have decided to stop paying the mortgage.. now, yves smith, publisher of another one of my daily must-read blogs, naked capitalism, and author of econned, a great new book on how we got into the mess we are in, is also weighing in on the subject.
in the following excerpt from "strategic defaults increase consumer spending," yves reveals some of the eye-opening tidbits that others have passed along to her:.
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I've heard of several similar cases here in Ohio (midwest by the way) - i know each personally.
1)homeowner had a rental property he was having a hard time with and the bank gave him the house. they didn't want the hassle of following through with the foreclosure and the taxes owed.
2) homeowner didn't want to make the payments anymore on his upside down mortgage. The bank has been trying to work with him for almost 2 yrs now, he just wants out, he hasn't made a payment in about a year, they have yet to foreclose.
3) homeowner couldn't afford her upside down payments. They lived in the house for a year before the bank took a short sale, no payments to be made and no foreclosure.
It seems some of these banks just don't want the houses empty, especially in the "better" neighborhoods. And they don't want to pay the taxes on the properties either if they foreclose - taxes stay with the house.
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How Did You Find New Friends?
by daringhart13 ini'm painfully curious on this subject.. when you have devoted your entire life, your entire social circle, everything you know......to this religion....when you fade away, how did you make new friends?
how did you replace all those people you thought were your friends?.
on top of fading away....... i lost a 'relationship' with a 'sister' due to not wanting to continue as a jw.
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This is a really good thread Daringhart13.
Thanks to everyone for the suggestions also.
I'm kinda struggling with this. We have a couple of friends since leaving but I miss the really close bond I thought I had with the sisters in the congregation. I'm having to learn what it takes to be a friend and make a friend and it's scary sometimes. I'm realizing for the first time in my life too that maybe I've never really been a friend to anyone because the only definition I went by was the one I learned at the kingdom hell.
Also I'm realizing that in the org we talked a lot about problems and negative things even in our personal relationships. That was really draining. Most people want their relationships to be a relief from their problems (although they do want support when asked). Know what I mean?
Are any of you in Ohio? pm me pls.
Cult Classic
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Demons!
by wildflowermeadow injws are obsessed with demons.
do you have any evidence spirits exist?
what about magic?
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cult classic
No one and I do mean No one is more afraid of demons than Jehovah's Witnesses!
Cult Classic